Confessional Simulator

You’re a newly assigned priest at St. Augustine’s parish. Step into the confessional booth—the ornate wooden screen is your domain—where parishioners lay bare secrets, grudges, and ridiculous transgressions. Every confession is a choice, and every choice reshapes your karma and the fortunes of the community around you.

Hear their sins

From a grandmother who put pineapple on pizza at her daughter's wedding to an 84-year-old repeating the same sin for 57 years, your parishioners span the spectrum of human absurdity. A gym bro chasing “gains for Jesus,” a Karen banned from all Applebee’s locations, a nun with a Love Island obsession, a fellow priest who makes up Saint quotes, a drunk who believes Metallica is a sacred rite—plus more than 70 fully voice-acted confessors. Each voice thread is distinct, offering humor, pathos, and surprising twists that tempo your days.

Karma, choices, and upgrades

Every confession yields Karma. You can guide souls toward redemption or press their guilt for generous donations, unlocking upgrade paths that bend the booth to your will. The more you balance mercy and manipulation, the more options unfold. The payoff isn’t just moral: you’ll unlock cosmetic and gameplay upgrades that alter how you interact with each visitor—and how others in the parish react to you.

Upgrade your booth

• Ergonomic kneelers
• Premium incense dispensers
• Coffee machine
• Mood lighting
• Disco ball
• Hot tub

Each upgrade changes the confessional’s appearance and unlocks new gameplay options, letting you tailor the space to the visitors you encounter and the stories you want to tell.

News, headlines, and consequences

The Parish Gazette reports on everything you do. Absolve a grape thief and front-page news appears. Call the police on a confession and the town notices. Your choices ripple through the community, shaping rumors, alliances, and future confessions in unexpected ways.

Weight of sin

Hearing confessions takes its toll. As stress climbs, you’ll need breaks—coffee, prayer, or other stress-relief methods. Each choice affects your karma and your sanity, so you must balance compassion with self-preservation to keep the booth running.

They always come back

Some confessors are one-and-done; others return, their patterns evolving based on your prior responses. Repeat visits let you steer longer arcs, from escalating habits to potential reform—or deeper entanglements.

Interventions

When a sin needs more than absolution, you can call in help: Police, Bishop, Exorcist, or Therapist. Each intervention adds texture to the story and unlocks new routes and endings.

Endings

Your cumulative choices yield dramatically different fates. Climb to Bishop, face excommunication, seek enlightenment, or even open a rival hot tub business. The path is yours to chart, with outcomes that echo through the parish.

“Bless me, Father, for I have sinned… And you? What will YOUR sins be?”